Lean Towards the Light, Get Results
I finally started watching Ted Lasso, the Apple TV+ sports comedy hit starring Jason Sudeikis, to see what all the fuss was about. If you’ve been under a rock or refuse to pay for yet another streaming service, let me give you the gist: Coach Lasso is an optimistic American coach who turns around a losing English football team. It’s your basic fish out of water story, but with lots of folksy, inspirational aphorisms peppered in.
What resonates with viewers about Lasso’s brand of positivity is how this optimism impacts his players. He believes in his team. He demonstrates that belief daily in his words and actions. He doles out liberal compliments, gives those who have been overlooked the chances they need, and regularly tells people that he sees the good in them. He doesn’t berate, belittle or detail for his players what they’ve done wrong. (And he sure doesn’t kick them at practice.) He’s light on criticism and heavy on kindness. That blend gets him results. (And okay, his optimism irks his spouse to the point where she asks for a divorce, but that’s a plot device to explain how he can be a great “family man” but also leave that family to go across the ocean for a job… and have a romantic story arc in the process.)
Overusing Criticism
In my experience, leaders overuse criticism, leaving employees thirsting for a friendly word like a person lost in a desert. Cultures that prize critical leaders, usually those employing a forced ranking performance management system (aka Jack Welch’s old “rank and yank” system) are usually unsustainable. Constant criticism veiled as “constructive feedback” becomes endemic, and managers are rewarded for nitpicking instead of being rewarded for building positive teams. Criticism proliferates and affirmation dissipates. Employees reach their limit for negative feedback, their spirits are sapped, and they stop performing.
Tell Me Something Good
The reality is that people need to hear what they do well to reach their potential. They’re desperate to be acknowledged, and they want frequent affirmation. Researchers say that top-performing teams receive five compliments for every one piece of criticism. It’s called the praise to criticism ratio. Criticism is important, it grabs attention, guards against complacency, and helps teams overcome serious weaknesses (meaning, those who need the most growth may need the most feedback to improve) but it must be balanced with liberal praise. Relationship expert John Gottman’s research has similarly demonstrated that happy marriages are built on a foundation of affirmation versus criticism, citing this same 5:1 ratio.
Dr. Kim Cameron of Michigan’s Ross School of Business, the author of Positive Leadership, talks about the power of positivity in leadership as an example of the heliotropic effect. This is the natural phenomenon of living things (plants in particular, but humans too) leaning towards light and positive energy. Dr. Cameron cites research showing that the human brain works better in a positive state than a negative one. More importantly, his research shows that organizations that foster positive cultures, ones that prize qualities like kindness, compassion, gratitude, and forgiveness, have demonstrable increases in results (retention, quality, profitability, etc.).
If you’ve ever had a leader who praised you or worked in a positive culture, you know all of this to be true. Affirmation is powerful. People are hungry to believe in themselves and understand what sets them apart. Feeling valued always inspires people to give more, do more, and lead better lives.
Tough Truths Have Their Place
Sure, criticism is necessary sometimes. But that feedback must come from a pre-existing foundation of compassion and coupled with a sincere desire to see someone succeed. Coach Lasso demonstrates love and kindness for his team – recognizing birthdays, giving gifts, giving affirmation regularly. When he gives some realness to his star player, it’s backed up by his proven desire to see his players succeed. “I think that you might be so sure that you’re one in a million, that sometimes you forget that out there you’re just one in 11,” he tells the young hot-shot, Jamie. Jamie sits with that truth awhile, opens the door to personal growth, and becomes a better player in the process.
When truth and compassion are at the root of feedback, and a leader has established a foundation of positivity, affirmation, and compassion with their team, then occasional negative feedback can be given — and received – so much more effectively.
So whether you’re leading a big team or a small one, try putting a little more Lasso in your leadership. When you’re out there on the pitch, give out the compliments, recognize the value each individual brings to what you do and spread a little sunshine.